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Dude, Where's My Car Wash Money?/Transcript
Olive: There she is! Give it up for our next school I treasurer! Sydney: Woo! Olive's in the house! Olive: Bup-bubup-bup. Don't jinx it. I haven't gotten it yet. Sydney: Don't worry, you will, especially after I give the student council my "why Olive is amazing" speech. Olive: Oh, don't forget to-- Sydney: Hey, if I cry, I cry. No promises. Olive: Sorry, Sydney. I just wanna be treasurer so badly! Sydney: Let's do it! Olive: Yeah, let's do it! We've got this! I'm so pumped! Sydney: Olive, why aren't you moving? Olive: I'm pumped, but my feet are terrified. Dominic: All right, everyone, remember-- this weekend is our fund-raising car cash. The money we raise is going to change people's lives. Ours. We're getting an ice cream truck. (cheering) Dominic: And not just any truck. We're getting "Scoop, There It Is". (gasping) Sydney: "Scoop, There It Is"? They name all their flavor after rappers. I'm so excited to try Kendria-ck La-marshmallow. Dominic: Okay, now it's time to elect a new student treasurer. We'll take open nominations from the student body. Sydney: I'd like to nominate Olive Rozalski! She's the perfect candidate for this job. Dominic: Okay, then. Sydney: And why is she so perfect? Dominic: Oh, there's more. Sydney: And a straight-A math student. I mean, this girl likes her numbers. Olive: Seven's my favorite, but I love them all. Sydney: And as a member of the Emergency Preparedness Club, Olive is no stranger to school service. Remember when that water fountain exploded and everyone slipped? No, you don't, because Olive put up that "Caution, Wet" sign. She slipped on her butt, so we wouldn't have to. Olive: It only hurts when it rains. Sydney: So, in closing, the only choice for treasurer is Olive Rozalski! Olive: Woo! Dominic: Okay. Anyone else wanna run? No one? Olive, you're treasurer. Sydney: Olive, you did it! Olive: No, we did it. I would just like to thank all of my opponents. You put up a heck of a fight. Sydney: Olive, no one ran against you. Olive: I know, but I already rehearsed my speech. [THEME] Max: Hey, girls, how was the car wash? Did you raise enough money, Madam Treasurer? Olive: I'm not really at liberty to discuss the exact amount, but let's just say this belt bag is pretty full. Sydney: Of 500 bucks! nods Olive: Now all I have to do is take it to the bank first thing tomorrow. I get to fill out a deposit slip. I'm just knocking down life goals left and right. Max: Well, all I can say is it's a good thing you have such a trendy, fashionable way to hold all that money. Sydney: We get it, Dad. You gave her the belt bag. Max: Just make sure the store name faces out. And if you refer a friend, you get a free bike horn. Sydney: Dad. Max: Honk-honk. leaves arrives Judy: Hey, girls. Sydney: Tough day at school, Grandma? Judy: I had to lug my books from one end of campus to the other. I passed the same sad pigeon eight times. By the ninth time, Benny was rolling his eyes. That's right, I named him. (bell dings) Sydney: Oh, our smoothies are ready. Be right back. Judy: B-T-Dubs, congrats on being treasurer. You must be supes excited. Olive: Yeah, this girl's first elected office. Glass ceiling shattered. Judy/'Olive:' Shatter. (Sydney accidentally collides with a girl and her smoothie falls on Olive.) (gasps, shrieks) Sharon: Oh, I am so sorry! Sydney: It's okay. Now I know why it's called Blueberry Surprise. Judy: Let me get you guys some paper towels. Don't worry, I'm sure we can smooth this over. Too soon? (They get cleaned up with paper towels.) Sydney: Sorry the smoothie got all over you... Olive: It's okay. I was wondering what this shirt would look like in blue. Now I know. The main thing is, the money's safe and dry and... her belt bag and sees the money isn't there. Olive: Gone? Oh my gosh, Syd, the money's gone! Sydney: What? How can that be? Olive: Wait, this isn't even my belt bag. Sydney: How do you know? Olive: the belt bag Because it's got a compass, snake repellent, and pencils. And you know I only use pens. Sydney: Okay, somebody must have grabbed your belt bag by mistake. I'll check inside the store and you can check outside. Olive: Got it. (Olive continues to check the belt bag) Sydney: What are you doing? Olive: Getting the snake repellent. The way my luck's going, I'm gonna need it. to 1992 (Max and Leo are standing on couches in the living room. Leo's getting a frisbee.) Leo: It's time for hot lava disc toss, where the ground is lava and the disc is a UFO being tossed around by two giants who also happen to be robots... I don't even know why I said that. It kind of explains itself. just looks at it throws the frisbee at Max and he catches it Leo: What's the matter? Young Max: We wouldn't have to be making up stupid games if my mom would just buy me Alley Fighters 4. Leo: Who needs a video game? We can use our imagination! Young Max: Imagination? That's like one step away from homework. throws the frisbee and Leo dodges it arrives Judy: Hey, boys. see her and leave the couches quickly Young Max: Mom! I know you said not to stand on the furniture and throw things in the house, but... this is different? comes over and sits on a couch Judy: That's okay. No big deal. (sighs) Young Max: No big deal? Who are you, and what have you done with my mom? Judy: Max, remember I told you all about that coworker's wedding I was really looking forward to? Young Max: Not really. Judy: No, of course you don't. Leo: Well, I'm listening, Mrs. Reynolds. Go on. on the couch Judy: My date, Ralph, canceled on me. He fell off a ladder. Okay, so he's in a full-body cast, but we can still work around it! (Max sits on the couch next to her) Young Max: So go alone. Judy: No way. Ever since the divorce, I have spent every wedding sitting at a table alone watching other ladies' purses while they dance. Sure, I go through them for candy, but I'm still alone! Young Max: What's wrong with that? Leo: The woman wants to dance! thinks for a moment and gets up from the sofa Young Max: Then she will. Mom, you're going to the wedding with your son. Judy: You? You don't even know how to dance. Leo: he gets up from the couch I'll teach him. Judy: Teach Max? This Max? Leo: I can teach anyone. I even taught my uncle's cat how to cha-cha. The cat is now a dancing machine. Young Max: What do you say, Mom? (Judy gets up from the couch) Judy: Max, this is the nicest thing you've ever done. What do you want? Young Max: I don't want anything except for you to be happy. Judy: (gasps) That's so sweet! I'm gonna leave before you say anything and ruin it. leaves Young Max: Can you believe she thought I wanted something? Leo: Yes. What do you want? Young Max: Alley Fighters 4! She's gotta give it to me now. Leo: Man, if I didn't really wanna play that game, I'd be outraged. back to present-day (At Reynolds Rides, Sydney and Olive were worried about money) Olive: Any luck? Please tell me you had some luck. At this point, I'm accepting lies. Sydney: Sorry, Olive, it's not here. comes up to them grabbing a tablet. Max: Okay, why don't we check out the feed from the store's security cameras? Maybe we can see what happened. Sydney: Great idea, Dad. (In the recording they see Max singing) Max: the recording, singing Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle. Bicycle here, bicycle there, bicycle shorts, pick up a pair. Biii-cycle. Sydney: Take that out of my head. Olive: Take that out of mine! Max: Okay, moving along... Oh, wait, this might be it. see the recording of the moment the girl throws the smoothie on Olive. Sydney: Olive, that lady has the same belt bag as you! Olive: (gaps) Look, while we were cleaning up, she got them mixed up and grabbed mine! Sydney: Dad, please tell me you remember her. Max: I do. I sold her a bike earlier. Her name was Sharon. Sydney: Great! Max: Yeah, I remember everything about her. She was going on a bike trip across the country. No credit card, no phone. Absolutely no way to reach her. Sydney: Dad, that's not good! Max: I know, that took a disappointing turn at the end... I'm sorry, Olive. (Max leaves) Olive: That's means all the money's gone for good. Oh, no! My first week as treasurer, I lost the school treasury! exasperatingly What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? Sydney: Olive, try not to freak out. Olive: Okay. (repressed screaming) Sydney: Better let it out. Olive: (screaming) on (Sydney is sitting at a table, writing. Judy approaches, riding a strange vehicle) Sydney: Whoa! Nice, Grandma! I just have one question: What is that? Judy: Pretty sweet whip, huh? I got tired of lugging all those heavy books across campus, so I bought this baby. The call it the "Luggage Buggy". I call it "Wheeee!". Wheeee! rides away driving the vehicle Sydney: Look out! Run away, Grandma! (She's back riding the vehicle) Judy: Wanna take it for a spin? For rideable luggage, it's faster than you'd think. A pickup at a red light was gunning his engine. I smoked him! Sydney: Maybe later. I'm kind of focused on finding a way to help Olive raise the money she lost. Judy: I feel ya. I wish I could you help, Noodle. But between college and building our girl cave and, well, this bad boy, I'm kind of tapped out. Why don't you ask your dad? Sydney: I already did. He used big words like "cash flow", "overhead", and "mortgage". The only word I understood was "no". Judy: I'm sorry, Noodle. I'm sure you'll think of something else. Anyway, I got a cass in 20. I hope this baby can handle stairs. rides away. crosses her path Out of my way, old dude! Max: Sydney What was that thing and why was my mother riding it? Sydney: It's cool and it's Grandma. Enough said. (Max sits next to Sydney) Max: Hey, Syd, how you doing? Sydney: I can't stop thinking about Olive. She's so stressed out about what happened. Max: I know, it's hard to watch a friend struggle. Sydney: Dad, she's always been there for me. I wish I could be there for her. If only there was a way I could just come up with the money. Max: Well, right now she has the most important thing she needs: you. gets up Sydney: Thanks, Dad. remains worried to 1992 (In Max's room, Leo comes in) Leo: You ready to... dance? Young Max: If it gets me Alley Fighters 4, I am. Leo: Okay, first thing you need to do is get loose. does dance steps. Young Max: Are you showing off? Leo: Oh, you'll know when I'm showing off. (Max looks surprised) Leo: Now, let's start with a simple box step. Watch me. It goes... doing dance steps one, two, stop. One, two, stop. One, two, stop. Young Max: Okay. Looks easy enough. Leo: Now let's do it together. One, two, stop. (They both hold hands; Leo's going to guide him through the dance steps) Leo: One, two, steps on Leo's foot ow! One, two, steps on Leo's foot, again ow! One, two, steps on Leo's foot, again ow! Young Max: Forget it. I can't do this. I'm done. Leo: What? You can't quit! How are you gonna dance with your mom? Young Max: I'll just drag her around the floor a couple times, bow, and hit her up for the game on the ride home. Leo: Well, on behalf of your mother, we're very disappointed in you, Max. back to present-day (in the Reynolds house living room, Sydney was practicing bass) (knocking on door) (She leaves the bass on the floor and opens the door) Iggy: Pizza's here! Sydney: Iggy, I didn't order a pizza. Iggy: And I don't have a pizza, so we're even. See ya later! Sydney: Iggy, wait! You're here to buy my bass. Iggy: Whoa, you're the Sydney who's selling the bass guitar? I was expecting to meet someone from Australia. Sydney: No, I think you're thinking of Sydney, Australia. Iggy: I was? Why? Sydney: I don't know why. Iggy: Wow, so we're both really confused. Sydney: Iggy, listen to my words: I'm the one selling the bass. You responded to my bass about buying it. There it is. (she goes and shows him the bass) Iggy: Whoa! Sydney: I know, isn't it beautiful? My dad got it for me when I was six because I love music, and I've been playing it ever since. I hate to sell it, but a friend of mine really needs the money. Iggy: Bummer. But one man's bummer is another man's awesome. So, awesome! Little known fact: Besides delivering pizzas, I also play in a band. Sydney: Let me guess, The Pizza Slices? Iggy: Whoa! They've heard of us in Australia? Sydney: You know what? Sure... I'm asking 500 for it. Iggy: Whoa, that's crazy! the money out of his wallet and gives it to Sydney That's exactly how much I bought! I think the universe is trying to tell us something. Sydney: That we agreed on a price over the phone? Iggy: No, that's not it. Sydney: Iggy, this bass means a lot to me, so promise me you'll take good care of it. Iggy: I won't let it out of my sight. (He's leaving, without taking the bass) Sydney: Iggy, the bass! Iggy: Oh, right. night, in Sydney's room (knock on door) (Olive comes on) Olive: What's going on? You used our emergency emoji code! A mermaid, a shooting star, and two peanuts. Two peanuts! I went out a window, I didn't have time for the door. Sydney: Oh, it's not really that big of a deal. I just happened to find... your belt bag with all of the money. Olive: What? How? When? Where? Sydney: Today. Sorry, the only one of those I remembered was "when". Olive: I don't get it. I thought the lady who took it went off the grid. Sydney: She did, but then she realized she had the money and returned it to my dad's store. Olive: How is that even possible? Sydney: People get off the grid and then on the grid. I don't know her life. What's with all these questions? (Olive gives her a hug) Olive: Thanks, Syd. You totally saved my life! Sydney: We're just lucky that lady brought it back. Olive: I'm so thankful there are honest people like her left in the world. (Olive takes the money out of the belt bag) Sydney: What are you doing? Olive: Counting the money. I wanna make sure she didn't take a taste. next morning in the hallways of Sydney's school Olive: Hey, Syd! Sydney: Hey, bestie! How cool is that you got the money back? Olive: Yeah, life is full of surprises. (Sydney opens her locker) Sydney: What? (Sydney sees her bass inside and grabs it) Sydney: How did this get in here? Olive: Got me, but why are you so surprised to see your bass? Sydney: I don't know. Olive: I'll tell you why! Because you sold it to bail out your best friend, and it's beautiful! Sydney: I don't know what you're talking about. Olive: Oh, don't stand there pretending you're not the best friend a girl could ever have! Sydney: I'm sorry? You're welcome? This is a very confusing moment. Olive: Sydney, I figured out you sold your bass to Iggy, and I bought it back. Sydney: But how'd you know? Olive: The first clue was this belt bag doesn't have a ketchup stain inside like mine. Second clue, upon seeing your room yesterday, I noticed your bass was missing. And third clue is that I happened to order pizza when Iggy showed up with your bass on his shoulder. Upon further reflection, I didn't really need those first two clues. Sydney: Olive, this is so sweet, but why did you do it? Now you're gonna be in so much trouble. Olive: Because there's no way I could let you sell your bass. I know how much it means to you. Sydney: But you mean more to me than my bass. Olive: Yeah, but this is my mistake, not yours. And I couldn't live with myself if I was the reason you had to give it up. Sydney: A hug plane's coming in for a landing. Olive: Permission granted from the tower. (They hug each other) (Dominic and Dave walk close to them) Dominic: Hey, Olive, just wanted to remind you to bring the money for the ice cream truck to student council tomorrow. Olive: Can't wait! Sydney I'm gonna be the most hated person in school! Reynolds Rides Max: Hey, Syd, I know you're feeling down about Olive, so I made you a smoothie with some extra cherry cheer-up. the smoothie on the table Sydney's sitting at Wow. I guess nothing could put a smile on that face right now. Singing Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle. Bicycle here, bicycle there, bicycle shorts, pick up a pair. Biiii-cycle. Gotcha! Now I just have to go apologize to a few customers. (Judy arrives along with other people, they're all driving a luggage) Judy: Hey, Noodle! Sydney: Wow! Grandma, I didn't know suitcases travel in packs. Judy: My squad liked my ride so much, they decided to get their own. You should've seen us doing laps around the quad. I'm telling you, other people were so jelly, we could charge for rides on these things. Sydney: Grandma, you just gave me an idea how to help Olive. Judy: Really? Spill. the three people who accompanied her Okay squad, take five. Charge your batteries, we're gonna take the freeway back. to 1992 (In the living room, Judy is practicing dancing. Max and Leo arrive) Young Max: Mom! What's going on? Why'd you move the furniture? Judy: I thought we could practice our dancing for the wedding. Young Max: Really? Now? Judy: Come on, it'll be fun! Max by the hand And, Max, I can't tell you how touched I am that you've been taking dance lessons with Leo just to make sure that I have good time. Leo: That's Max, always thinking of others. Judy: Shall we? Young Max: Uh... okay. (They start practicing the dance step''s) '''Judy:' One, two, steps on her foot ow! One, two, steps on her foot again ow! One, two, steps on her foot again ow! Young Max: Sorry, Mom. Judy: It's okay. We're just looking for our rhythm. Leo: That's gonna be one long search! Max, you forgot our many, many lessons! Here, let me remind you how it's done. Judy May I? (classical music playing) Judy: Leo, you are amazing! Leo: I'm only as good as my partner. Young Max: Wow, Mom, you're really good! Judy: Thanks, Max. stops dancing with Leo I forgot how much I enjoy this. Young Max: You know what, Mom? You should go to the wedding with Leo. Judy: What are you talking about? I'm going with you! Young Max: But you deserve to go with someone who can really dance. Like Leo. Judy: I don't even know if Leo-- Leo: I'd love to! Judy: Great! I'll go get my dancing shoes... leaves dancing One, two, three. One, two, three. Leo: Max, that was a really nice thing for you to do, but how are you gonna get Alley Fighters 4, now? Young Max: I'm not. My mom looked so happy dancing, it made me realize there are some things in life more important than a video game. Leo: What's gotten into you? Young Max: I don't know! Maybe these are changes that the gym teacher was talking about in health class. (Leo nods) back to present-day (A''t Reynolds Rides, people ride their luggage. Sydney and Judy are attending the people'') Sydney: a woman Okay, you're next. Judy Grandma, I can't believe how many people want to race these things! We're gonna have enough money for Olive in no time! Max Thanks for letting us turn your shop into a suitcase speedway, Dad. Max: My pleasure, Syd. Look how everyone loves these things! Suddenly, my gas-powered recliner doesn't sound so stupid. Judy: No, it still does. (Sydney sees Olive walking into the "racetrack" and goes to her) Olive: Sydney, what's going on? And why are those people riding luggage? Sydney: I came up with a way to get your ice cream money back. And the best part is, no one will ever know that you lost it. Dominic: Hey, guys! Sydney: Dominic! Dominic: Whoa, looks like you started the party without me. (Dave tells Dominic something in his ear) Dominic: Yeah, I know it's not an actual party, Dave. Relax. Sydney: What are you doing here? Olive: I asked Dominic to meet me, so I could tell him what happened. (Sydney takes Olive, to talk to her) Sydney: Olive, we're about to make the money back. Olive: Sorry, Syd, bu I've got to tell the truth. Dominic Dominic, I've got a confession to make. (Dominic looks at her, confused) Olive: I lost all the money from the car wash. Dominic: You what? I can't believe it! Do you know how bad this is gonna make me look? (Dave says something to Dominic's ear) Dominic: I mean you look, but mostly me look. Olive: I know, it was really irresponsible. That's not who I am. But the fact is I lost it, and I don't deserve to be treasurer. Dominic: No, you don't. (Judy comes over and says something to Sydney's ear) Sydney: What? Dominic, you should know that not only did Olive make back the money that she lost, she doubled it. Dominic: She did? Olive: I did? Dominic: Wow, now we have enough money to also get a taco truck! Do you know how great this is gonna make me look? I mean, you look, but especially me. Sydney: I would like to re-nominate Olive Rozalski for student council treasurer. Dominic: Welcome back, Olive! Now, I'd like to take a spin on one of those cool suitcase thingies. Dave, get a picture of me putting a helmet on. Olive and Sydney Safety first, kids. Sydney: Well, Madam Treasurer, looks like you're back in office. Olive: Thanks, Syd, for everything. Airplane's coming in for a landing. Sydney: We had a little bumpy weather, but eventually-- Olive: Just hug me! to 1992 (in Max's room, Max was skateboarding, Judy comes in) Young Max: Wow, Mom, you look great! You don't even look like a mom! Judy: I know there's a compliment in there somewhere, so thank you. Young Max: So, uh, Leo here yet? Judy: No, I told him not to come. Young Max: What? After all this, you're not going? Judy: Oh, I'm going. With you. Young Max: Why would you want to go with me? I'm a horrible dancer. Judy: Because you're my son, and that means more to me than how well you dance. Young Max: But I step all over your feet. Judy: Got it covered. Steel-toed boots. him the boots she wears Now hurry up and get dressed. And by the way, I'm getting you that video game. Young Max: But wait, how'd you know about that? Judy: Leo gets very chatty when he dances. Category:Transcripts Category:Season 1 Transcripts